I crash on the sofa with a heavy heart
In need of another drink to be drunk.
A dirty joke would go well with this fart
Or I could punch this guy, he's been a punk.
I stumble and weave with so little grace
This crowd doesn't know how to dance at all.
I talk to people who can't keep the pace
And pray for a girl's number I can call.
I'm in the house of a guy from my work
I can't recall his name, it sounded like mine.
I am smooth as hell, not at all a jerk
And it helps that the whiskey flows like wine.
I should get louder, don't want to be missed
I guess all the rumors were sad but true.
God I'm tired, my stomach is pissed
What did you say? Sorry, I can't hear you.